


RANK 9

by Echo (Lyrecho)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Lover's Rank 9, F/F, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Helping Each Other Through Trauma, Kamoshida Mentions, Mentions Of A Canonical Suicide Attempt, One Shameless Kingdom Hearts Reference, P5 Writer's Zine, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 01:43:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19879540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrecho/pseuds/Echo
Summary: "I love you, Ann," Shiho says, muffled into her neck. "I love you."A confession on the rooftop, and two girls starting to heal.|Tumblr||Twitter|





	RANK 9

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi!! this is my piece for the P5 Writer's Zine! writing this was a lot of fun, and i'm super grateful for the opportunity to share this fic with you all. i hope you enjoy it!!
> 
> please check out the zine and all the other participants [here!](https://twitter.com/p5writerszine)

In the months after Kamoshida, even with all the visits Ann makes to Shiho in her hospital bed, they never talk about it.   
  
She wants to - god, does she want to, the questions, the apologies, the _pleas_ \- they claw their way up her throat and leave scorch marks on the way back down when she swallows them with a smile. That's what Shiho needs from her, after all; her smile. A friend by her side for reassurance and comfort, not a messy breakdown of confusion and guilt to make her feel worse.  
  
So, when, during one quiet visit, in the middle of a lazy summer afternoon, Shiho turns to her, and quietly says, "I think I want to see the roof," it takes Ann completely off guard. The stab of shock she feels is near physical, and she can't think of a response as Shiho just stares at her, gaze caught somewhere between resigned and hopeful.  
  
"I'll...I'll figure something out," Ann says finally.  
  
She's never been able to deny Shiho anything. Not if it was within her power. And this - this _was_. It had to be.  
  
Over the next few days, she's quick to realise that the biggest issue in getting Shiho up to the roof (beyond smuggling her onto the school grounds without anyone noticing) is _getting Shiho up to the roof._ The security up there is as lax as it ever was, really, even after...  
  
But Shiho is still mostly bedridden for a reason. She's getting better, and doing amazing with her rehab, but she can't hide how exhausted she gets, and how quickly. After all the strength that she's gained in Mementos and running through Palaces, Ann could _probably_ get Shiho up to the roof by herself with little fuss, but she doesn't want to risk the danger that comes with being wrong, or having to explain herself to Shiho. The best thing to do, then, she decides, is recruit a helper.  
  
Ryuji is her first choice. He knows Shiho, has for years, in comparison to Haru and Makoto who were upperclassmen and distant, to Futaba and Yusuke, who were both complete strangers, and Akira, who she thinks might have interacted with Shiho _once_.  
  
He was also there, with Kamoshida, which makes him one of the very few people Ann is comfortable sharing this much of herself with.  
  
Unfortunately, when he hears the date she's organized, he grimaces. "Ma needs me helping around the house," he says, apologetically. Ann waves him off.  
  
"It's fine," she says. "Family is important."  
  
Next on the list, then, is Akira. Makoto would probably be more familiar to Shiho, having been the Student Council President and all, but besides Ryuji, only Akira and Morgana were _there_ , and a cat can't exactly help her carry her friend up a flight of stairs.   
  
He says yes, thankfully, though she hadn't expected anything different from him.  
  
(She still rewards him with a kiss of thanks on the cheek, and is rewarded in turn with said cheeks flaming bright red as he sputters and avoids meeting her eyes for the rest of the day.)  
  
 _You still good to go?_ She texts Shiho, just before she goes to sleep on the night before what she's taken to calling The Day in her mind.  
  
 _!!! It's a date!_  
  
Shiho's excitement is clear through even just those three small words, and Ann feels a slow burn of deep affection for her friend seep through her as she lays down her head on her pillow and sleep claims her.  
  
She falls asleep smiling.  
  
"Sorry for the bother, Kurusu-kun," Shiho pants, the next day, as they pause in the middle of a flight of stairs so she can catch her breath. She's leaning heavily on Akira, who had offered his shoulder to her when she'd protested being bodily carried up. Ann walks behind them, ready to catch Shiho if she should fall. "I'm sure you had better things to do today than help a cripple up some stairs."  
  
Her self-deprecation has Ann frowning, but Akira smiles at her. "Anything for a friend, Suzui-san," he says easily, and doesn't clarify if the friend is Ann, or Shiho herself. "And please, call me Akira."  
  
Shiho's smile is as bright and brilliant as it's ever been. "Then call me Shiho!"  
  
Her smile stays on her face even after they start moving again, and pain flickers across her expression whenever a muscle stretches too much one way, or a step jars the still healing bones in her legs.  
  
Ann has always known Shiho is stronger than her. This is unquestionable proof.  
  
"Wow..." Shiho's breathing as she steps close to the edge of the roof and reaches out a hand to twist her fingers into the safety barrier of the fence surrounding it is even. Her steps don't falter from leaving Akira's support, and her smile doesn't dim. "Everything looks so small from up here, huh?"  
  
Akira shifts uneasily as she moves closer to the edge, but Ann elbows him before she can speak.  
  
"Did it look like that...before?" She asks. _Is this what you saw, the last time you were up here?_  
  
Shiho pauses, and her expression dims for just a second. "No," she says quietly. "No, what I was seeing isn't anything like this." She looks back over her shoulder at Ann, and she's crying, silent tears tracing their way down her face to frame a smile that hurts more than any shadow's attack has. "God, I'm an idiot, aren't I?"  
  
Ann shakes her head immediately; an instinctive denial.  
  
"Why did you want to come up here?" Akira asks quietly, and Shiho and Ann turn to look at him together. "Shiho?"  
  
"Why..? Hmm..." She hums as she thinks, and her eyes flicker to Ann. "I think...I wanted to recreate that moment. Standing here, looking down, wearing these clothes...I wanted to see if it would be the same. If the voice telling me 'just jump' would come back."  
  
A tightness in her throat, and Ann swallows down her own tears. It's like choking on shards of ice. "Has it?"  
  
For a long moment, Shiho just stares at her, face blank, before her lips curl up into a wry smile. "Of course not," she says. "Like I said, I'm an idiot." Ann steps forward as she does, a protest on her lips, but before she can speak a word, Shiho has met her halfway and wrapped her arms around her. She's trembling. "You're right here," Shiho whispers into her ear. "You're here with me, proof of what I'd forgotten last time I stood up here." Her arms around Ann tighten. "I'm _not_ alone."  
  
There's no holding back her own tears now. "You're..." she chokes around her words as an uncontrollable sob bursts out. "Of course you're not."  
  
"Thank you," Shiho whispers.   
  
"I'm right here with you, always," Ann promises, voice thick. "And - and even once you've transferred for real, I'm only just a phone call away." She grips the back of Shiho's shirt tightly. "I'm going to become one of the top models out there, okay? And then, whenever you see me in a magazine, or on a poster - you'll know I'm there, and I'm there for _you_."  
  
The wordless cry Shiho lets out brings new tears to Ann's eyes. The emotions it carries are layered and heartbreaking, and Ann can't do anything for her friend but let her bury her face in her shoulder and act as a pillar of support and comfort for her as her entire body shakes with the force of her tears. "I love you, Ann," Shiho says, muffled into her neck. "I love you."  
  
Ann lets out a shaky laugh. "I love you, too."   
  
After that, they cry for a while, just holding each other. Ann, truthfully, forgets Akira is up there with them, until he coughs, and looks very guilty when they both jump and stare at him with wide eyes.  
  
"Uh," he says, and holds up his phone. "School gates will be locked soon."  
  
Ann's eyes widen when she registers how late it's gotten, and just how long it is they've been on the roof.  
  
"Oh no," Shiho moans. "We should leave - I don't think I'd be able to handle climbing over the fence."  
  
Akira's absolutely got lockpicks in his pockets, Ann knows this for a fact, so if they really do end up locked in, they've got a way out, which Ann will _force_ him to use if she has to, just so Shiho doesn't risk further injury - but that way leads to explanations she's not quite ready to give, just yet, so it would be best if they just left now.  
  
"I think getting down the stairs will be a lot more difficult for you than getting up," Akira says to Shiho with an apologetic grimace. "Would it be okay if I just carried you?"  
  
Barely a second's consideration, and Shiho nods jerkily.  
  
The rush down the stairs and through the empty school halls is a mix of adrenalin and giggles that doesn't blur back into focused reality until they're already well out of the school grounds, standing against one of the walls of the train station.  
  
Even still in Akira's arms, curled up against his chest, Shiho's eyes are bright and wide with excitement. "Let's never do that again," she orders, the severity of the words losing impact under the laughter that still infects her voice.  
  
"I'm happy with that plan," Akira says, and gently eases her to her feet. He looks between the two of them with a frown, and jerks his thumb at the timetable behind them. "This is my way home. Will you two be okay on your own?"  
  
His concern is clear in his eyes, and very touching - but Ann has it handled, so she flashes him a smile and a peace sign.  
  
"My mother will pick us up," Shiho explains. "Actually, I should probably call her...we've stayed out way later than we planned to."  
  
Ann feels a stab of guilt for making Shiho's parents worry when they've already been through so much, but what's done is done, and she feels lighter than she has in months. What happened up on the roof is something she needed, she thinks. Something they _both_ needed.  
  
Shiho's call with her mother is blessedly quick, and she thankfully doesn't ask them too many questions about their red eyes on the drive over to Ann's house. After these past few months, Ann supposes she just understands. There have been a lot of tears.  
  
She slinks inside with Shiho's bags to give her and her mother a quiet moment to say goodbye - even if it's only just for the night, she knows the kind of fear Shiho's parents must feel whenever they can't see her _right there._ It's the same fear that she's felt since that day. Those are sad thoughts, though, so she brushes them aside with a welcoming smile as Shiho steps into the kitchen, the sound of her mother's engine fading in the distance.  
  
"I've put your bag in my room," she says. "Showers, first? Then we can get some snacks and head on upstairs."  
  
"Sounds like a party," Shiho says, with a smile that nearly hides her exhaustion.  
  
Ann gives Shiho the first shower, and takes the moment of solitude to make one last check of her room - she isn't a slob, or anything, and she'd already cleaned in preparation for Shiho's visit, but she also has a bad habit of just letting clothes lie where they fall.   
  
Shiho’s quick in the shower – “I didn’t want to use all the hot water,” she says with a laugh – coming into the room toweling her hair dry, moving aside so that Ann can slip by her to take her turn. She’s just as fast, though less because she’s worried about the water temperature, and more because she simply wants to squeeze every second with Shiho as possible from this night.  
  
After, clean and comfortable in their pajamas, they flop out onto Ann’s bed with bags of crisps and sweets – the sour kind that Shiho likes best, even though Ann can only just barely stand them.  
  
“I’ve missed this,” Shiho says softly. “Even just eating junk food isn’t the same in a hospital.”  
  
Ann imagines sterile white walls and echoing halls with no illusion of privacy. No, she believes, it wouldn’t be.  
  
“You’re here now,” she says, and holds her hand out to Shiho with a smile, as much comfort as she can offer. Shiho rolls on the mattress so they’re facing each other, hands still linked, and Ann can see Shiho’s own smile curling up softly on her lips.  
  
“I suppose I am,” Shiho whispers, and then pauses. “Hey – Ann,” she says, a hesitance clear in her voice.  
  
Ann blinks at her. “Yeah?”  
  
“Ann,” Shiho says, shifting forward and lowering her voice, as if afraid that in this empty house, they’ll be overheard – whatever she wants to say, it’s clearly meant for Ann and Ann alone. “Ann, it was you, wasn’t it? With Kamoshida, I mean.”  
  
A startled, incredulous laugh breaks out of Ann’s throat; sheer reflex, her brain isn’t working right now, frozen over with dread and fear as it is. “What?”  
  
Shiho’s smile is understanding and sad. “It’s okay,” she says, withdrawing a bit. “I know it’s hard, I just…I just needed to say it, at least once. Say thank you – for everything.”  
  
Ann doesn’t know how to respond to that, so she doesn’t. It is, she supposes, better than lying to Shiho outright. Just the thought of doing that is enough to make her feel sick.  
  
The air between them after that is heavy, but only really for a little while – Ann’s never really been able to keep up a sulk around Shiho, and Shiho herself seems keen to move past her earlier words, probably sensing how uncomfortable and conflicted she’s made Ann feel. Quickly, through endless jokes, and somehow pulling way more yolo SSRs on Ann’s own accounts than she ever has (clearly, Shiho is a good luck charm), and _blatantly_ cheating at Mario Kart, Kamoshida and any mention of him is entirely forgotten, as he should be.  
  
It’s around ten when Ann can tell Shiho is beginning to flag – yawning far more frequently and rubbing at her eyes.  
  
“Tired?” she asks, and Shiho laughs.  
  
“A bit,” she says ruefully. “Sorry for such a boring night – I know we typically don’t sleep during sleepovers, but I just get way more tired lately.”  
  
“Hey, no big deal!” Ann is quick to reassure. “Healing takes a lot out of you, I totally get it.”  
  
Shiho shoots her a grateful look. “Don’t think you have to go to sleep now, though, just because I am,” she says. “You can stay up and put a movie on or something, I promise I won’t mind.”  
  
Ann shakes her head. “To be honest, I’d rather just go and lie down with you,” she confesses, and Shiho’s cheeks flush bright pink before she sends a blinding smile Ann’s way.  
  
“That sounds nice,” she says quietly. “I think I’d really like that.”  
  
“Then it’s decided!” Ann says, and gets up to shut off the light, while Shiho works to rearrange her bed into something that actually fits that term.  
  
“You have so many pillows,” she complains, throwing at least half of them on the floor. “How is there even room for you on this bed with all of them?”  
  
Flopping back down onto the bed next to Shiho, Ann shrugs. “They’re cuddly.”  
  
Shiho laughs, and curls around a pillow she’s holding to her stomach. “Hey, Ann,” she says, and holds her hand out across the mattress dividing them – Ann’s quick to take it, sensing that whatever happens next will be, somehow, incredibly important.   
  
“I’m glad I’m here,” Shiho whispers. “With you, sure, but – I’m just so glad I’m alive.”  
  
Tears prick at the corners of Ann’s eyes, and she tightens her grip on Shiho’s hand. “Me too,” she says, voice hoarse, and that’s how they fall asleep – hand in hand, glad to be together, and glad to be alive.  
  
It’s how they wake up, too the next day – rays of morning sun falling across the both of them and bathing Shiho in pale gold, and all Ann can do is stare.  
  
“Hey.” Shiho greets her with a smile. “Morning, sleepyhead.”  
  
Ann squints at her, and sits up with a yawn. “How long have you been up?”  
  
“A while. My leg started really aching around dawn.”  
  
Concern is immediately all Ann can feel. “Are you okay? Do you need painkillers or something?”  
  
“I’m fine – my mother texted a while ago, though; she’ll be here to pick me up soon.” She looks down, and her shoulders hunch up. “I don’t want to leave you just yet,” she says, quiet and sad. “It doesn’t feel like enough time. I’ve missed you _so much_.”  
  
Ann sighs. “Me, too,” she says. “I wish you could just live with me forever.”  
  
Shiho’s gaze flicks up, to meet hers, before quickly dancing away again.  
  
“Ann – ” Shiho speaks haltingly, choking on her own words as they tumble clumsily from her mouth. “Yesterday, you said you loved me, too.”  
  
Ann blinks. “Yeah?”  
  
“When I said it…I meant that I love you.” Shiho leans forward, and underneath their weight, the mattress shifts, bringing them nose to nose. “Not just as a friend, Ann. I’m _in_ love with you.”  
  
The early morning sun frames Shiho like a halo, curling over her cheeks and lighting up something deep within her eyes. Something warm, intangible, undeniable.  
  
Ann swallows, throat suddenly tight. “Oh,” she says softly, and Shiho gives a wry smile.  
  
“Yeah,” she says. “‘Oh.’” She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up,” she says. “When you didn’t react yesterday, I knew – I’m sorry, Ann.”  
  
She’s already pulling back, emotionally and physically, and Ann can feel the warmth that had curled around her dying, fading back into lonely cold.  
  
So, before Shiho can withdraw altogether and continue to hide behind that smile, Ann chases after her; links their hands together, fingers entwining into the gaps where they’ve always belonged, and kisses her.  
  
“I love you,” she whispers. “Shiho, _I love you.”_  
  
Shiho takes in a great, deep, shuddering breath, and nods wordlessly, so overcome with emotion. “As I love you,” she says, and her voice is small and broken, but happy.  
  
“Hey,” Ann says, and nudges Shiho. “Whatever happens beyond this morning is a little later on – so for now, let’s just be together.”  
  
And Shiho looks up, and smiles. “Right,” she says, and leans in for another kiss.


End file.
